Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Bad news from the country house

[Thanks to Libby in Caledon, Ontario, for sending this along. Author unknown.]

At dawn the telephone rings.

"Hello Señor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Señor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Señor that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Señor Bob."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Señor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Señor Bob."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Señor Bob, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire Señor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Señor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?"

"Yes, Señor Bob."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral Señor Bob."


"Your wife's, Señor Bob. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."


[Long Silence].........

[Very long silence]............

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit."


  1. Not to everyone's taste, I gather. Now if it had been the Taylormade RBZ Stage 2 with Matrix Ozik Shaft ...

  2. Taylormade RBZ Stage 2 with Matrix Ozik Shaft??? Is this a new disease making the rounds??

  3. Designed to make your playing partner tremble in his Footjoys.