Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Entertainment today

TV has changed a lot in the past few decades.

We used to have CBC, CTV, and the big three from the states.

The formula was pretty standard. During the day, you had the soap operas and the commercials for Ginsu knives and Chop-o-matics, followed by the after-school programs --- Howdy Doody and American Bandstand.

The six o'clock news kicked off the adult programming. The term "adult programming" had a different meaning then than it does today --- mostly cowboy dramas, sitcoms, and late night talk shows.

Then the specialty channels and reality TV started appearing, and now we have some very weird choices, such as:
The Pawnshop and Pickers Channel: This is mostly about professional wheeler-dealers beating up on amateurs to steal their rusty old stuff at bottom dollar by telling them how worthless it is, and then turning around and selling the same stuff for big bucks to rich folk who are furnishing their country estates. Oddly, this is sort of entertaining.

The Angry White Men Channel: On this channel, debates are won by those who shout the loudest and make the most outrageous claims. The top-rated shows feature hosts who browbeat their guests into submission by screaming insults at them, while providing them with no opportunity for rebuttal. It beats me how they find guests willing to sacrifice themselves.

The Guys And Their Toys Channel: Different teams build pricey motorbikes and custom cars, and they always just get it done, despite numerous setbacks and stupid mistakes, by the absolute deadlines set by the rich guys who are paying the bills. There is a lot of shouting, but not as much as on The Angry White Men Channel.

The Spaceheads Channel: The shows on this channel always feature the same five nutballs with strange haircuts who see images of little men from outer space carved on Mayan ruins, and other "proof" that prehistoric aliens were flying around exterminating the dinosaurs, breeding humans with animals, starting religions, building the pyramids, and so on.

The Home Disaster Channel: This is the place to watch experts tell single mothers and inept Philosophy professors that previous repairmen have grossly overcharged them, totally botched things, and that the damp spot on the wall means their entire house will soon disintegrate into a pile of worthless sawdust and twisted plumbing.

The Is It Food? Channel: Chefs must compete to make something edible out of weird combinations of ingredients such as lamb chops, pretzels, ice cream, and olive oil. Other people travel around eating disgusting things without throwing up --- giant ant eggs with guacomole, sheep milk cheese infested with maggots, baby mice in rice wine, and similar delicacies.
I can't wait for the baseball season.

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