Monday, April 30, 2012

May I borrow your pen?

Friday, April 27, 2012

Signs of the times

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. ~ Irene Peter
• By 2050, we'll live in a world with robot prostitutes, according to a University of Wellington (New Zealand) study.

• Scientists at MIT have developed a new process of creating glass that is self-cleaning, has no reflections, and resists fogging and glare. Water bounces off.

• Young women today are more likely than young men to say a high-paying career or profession is very important to them, says the Pew Research Center.

• Online dating websites are becoming more tightly focused on narrow interest groups. Farmers Only, is aimed at rural lonely hearts, while The Atlasphere connects Ayn Rand fans, and EquestrianCupid will find you a sweetheart for those happy trails.

• Despite health warnings, more Ontario teenagers are using tanning beds, according to a new Ipsos Reid poll.

• A mysterious fossil that has evoked images of a sea monster roaming the shallow waters of prehistoric Cincinnati has scientists baffled as to as to what kind of creature (or sea plant) it was.
Looking for change? Check the sofa.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Space makers

[Found on Spark Change]

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Getting exercised

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

On living a good life

[Found on]

Monday, April 23, 2012

I got your sign right here

Friday, April 20, 2012

Signs of the times

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. ~ Irene Peter
• Young people are less interested in driving. The average annual number of vehicle miles traveled by young people (16 to 34-year-olds) in the U.S. decreased by 23 percent between 2001 and 2009, and 26% don't have a driver's license.

• If a female HR professional receives a resume including a photo from an attractive female applicant, it is likely to land in the garbage because of jealousy and rivalry, according to recent research. Resumes with pictures of handsome men had the opposite result.

• In 2010, more than 13.3 million people, 47% of Canadians aged 15 and over, did volunteer work. Of these, 10% accounted for 53% of all hours given to nonprofit and charitable organizations, according to Statistics Canada.

• Canadian entrepreneur Eric Migicovsky raised $3.6 million for his start-up business in less than a week through crowd-sourcing website Kickstarter.

• Within the next decade, smart-device swiping will have gained mainstream acceptance as a method of payment and could largely replace cash and credit cards for most online and in-store purchases by users of smartphones and tablets.

• Got five bucks? Go to to find people who will do stuff for five bucks. For example, a Marilyn Monroe lookalike will sing Happy Birthday, or a guy will do anything you want wearing a Teletubby costume.
Looking for change? Check the sofa.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

So, you say you hate politics?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A woman's joke

[Thanks to Suzanne for sending this along.]

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her.

Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00, on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said:

"Paint my house."

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Adding a bit of drama to your day

To launch its TV channel in Belgium TNT placed a big red push button on the square of an average Flemish town. A sign with the instruction "Push to add drama" invited people to use the button. Innovative marketing, and a lot of fun.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Is you, or is you ain't

[Found on Funny or Die]

Friday, April 13, 2012

Signs of the times

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed. ~ Irene Peter
• The recent Divorce Expo in New York aimed to provide one stop shopping for those planning to untie the marital knot.

• Chemists at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee have discovered a method for turning plastic bags into carbon fibres that can be used in a variety of products, including water desalination filters and car bodies.

• The fact that children now grow up without contact with the natural world impairs their capacity to learn through experience, according to the UK's National Trust. This is called "nature deficit disorder."

• In Japan, 200 retirees are voluntarily exposing themselves to high levels of radiation in order to clean up the area around last year's nuclear disaster, so that younger people aren't exposed.

• A Los Angeles County sheriff's captain is under investigation for allegedly freeing a pro-golfer turned jewel thief for a few hours to help him shave strokes off his golf game.

• In a public spirited initiative in support of female empowerment and women's rights, three male business students in Germany have launched the world's first free sex service for women.
Looking for change? Check the sofa.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Do you see what I see?

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The known universe

A trip to our cosmic horizon, and back. After the video starts, click on the symbol at bottom right for full screen.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

God love the church ladies

[Thanks to Mimi for sending this along]

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Monday, April 9, 2012

Vintage 11:00 a.m.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Things I learned this week

I learned that:
• Sagging (wearing trousers extremely low) began in prison where inmates weren’t allowed to wear belts for fear they would commit suicide with them or kill another inmate. It was popularized in the early 1990s hip-hop culture as an expression of disrespect for authority.

• The standard golf hole has a 4 1/4" diameter because the first hole cutter, constructed in 1829 from some excess pipe, made holes of that size.

• You have a natural mechanism for clearing your nose. Push your tongue against the top of your mouth, and place a finger between your eyebrows and apply pressure. Hold it for about 20 seconds and your sinuses will begin to drain.

• Future U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt's wife and mother both died within hours of each other on St.Valentine's Day, 1884.

• According to a 2011 OECD report, Canada ranks among the worst of the thirty-four member nations for adverse events (harmful mistakes) related to surgery, and a 2004 study estimated that 7.5 % of Canadians who are admitted to hospitals each year experience at least one adverse event. "These errors are responsible for more than a million extra days spent in medical facilities, and the resulting annual death toll may be as high as 24,000," according to an article in The Walrus.

• John Kendrick (1794) was killed by a cannonball fired as a salute to him.
How about that?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Masters

The Do Not Disturb sign is on the doorknob. It's The Masters. Shhhhh.

The Masters PGA golf tournament infographic

Hungry for change

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Please pee in the shower

A Brazilian nonprofit environmental group called SOS Mata Atlantica produced this media campaign to get people to save water by peeing in the shower.

King Kong pees anywhere he likes.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Will Rogers on getting older

[Thanks to Anita and Wayne for sending this along.]

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

5. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

6. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

10. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

11. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

And finally, some good advice: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Now in season

[Found on Funny or Die]