Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thus spake the consultants

I thought you folks in more pastoral precincts might enjoy hearing about the latest goofiness in Toronto.

It seems that Mayor Ford and city council feel they need outside help to find ways to "stop the gravy train" and get spending under control, so a big-time consulting firm was retained to take a look for wasteful extravagance in the public works department.

I guess that when you've been paid $350,000 to make recommendations, you have to come up with something, but KPMG's cost-cutting advice for the City of Toronto (as reported in the Toronto Star) is pretty lame, especially given that it would only save 1 - 1.5% of the public works budget if fully implemented.

Among the suggestions:
• Recycle less, because sending garbage to landfills is cheaper. (I am speechless! Did the last 25 years not even happen?)

• Curtail collection of toxic substances and hazardous waste. (Just dump it down the drain?)

• Eliminate garbage collection for small businesses. (Ignoring the facts that they pay taxes, create jobs, mostly operate with thin margins, and are core elements of our neighbourhoods. Like we need more empty storefronts!)

• Scrap the four free garbage bag tags given annually to each household. (You gotta be kidding. How do we get rid of all that wrapping paper and plastic packaging at Christmas?)

• Cut back on street cleaning. (Sure, like the empty water bottles, pop cans, and fast food containers will just evaporate, or blow over into Whitby.)

• Reduce "bike infrastructure." (Shut down those bike lanes. Get the bicycle pinkos back into cars and helping to make Toronto #1 in gridlock. Man up, bikers! Get out there and mix it up with the cars and trucks.)

• End fluordination of water. (My dentist says this is a stupid idea.)
I'd guess a Grade 4 class project could have come up with something more useful.

No comments:

Post a Comment