Monday, April 19, 2010

No hope for domestic peace

If you're hoping your partner will shape up if you just stay on his/her case, the news is not good.

If your spouse bugs you now, it's only going to get worse, according to new research that suggests couples view one another as even more irritating and demanding the longer they are together.

You would think that, at some point, husbands and wives would negotiate a truce, or get tired of arguing, or someone would give in, or they might even try to see their respective partners' points of view.

Nope!

"As we age and become closer and more comfortable with one another, it could be that we're more able to express ourselves to each other," said lead study author Kira Birditt, a research fellow at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research. "In other words, it's possible that negativity is a normal aspect of close relationships that include a great deal of daily contact."

"Because we found that pattern was overall among the participants, it appears to be normative. It's not something unusual that happens," Birditt said.

The study found that "as people age they get better at regulating their emotions and experience less negative relationships" with pretty much everyone but their spouses.

Coincidentally, other research found that spouses who fight may live longer. Hiding anger, brooding and resentment causes stress, which shortens lifespans, whereas releasing anger can be healthy.

Summing up, conflict is normal, it will only get worse, AND you will be forced to endure it longer.

Alright, then.

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