Friday, September 4, 2009

Fiji sent packing. Queen not amused.

Oh my God! Fiji has been suspended from the Commonwealth. Geez, who saw that coming?

In fact, who knew that Fiji was even a member of the Commonwealth, or that the Commonwealth suspends countries, or even that the Commonwealth had a staff to do this sort of thing? By the way, what in hell does the Commonwealth actually do these days? Other than suspending members, that is.

I vaguely recollect that the Commonwealth was sort of British Empire "lite," a kind of rebranding thing after empires became unfashionable, the colonials got delusions of grandeur, and self-government became trendy. I know they have games, but I assumed that otherwise they were an irrelevant vestige of former glory, like the Loyal Orange Lodge.

Anyway, poor old Fiji will not be playing in the Commonwealth Games; will not have "emblematic representation" at Commonwealth events; and will not receive Commonwealth technical assistance.

Cor blimey! You've buggered it, Fiji. You naff pillocks played fast and loose, and now you're being told to sod off.

The Queen has been informed.

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