Monday, April 13, 2009

Moose poop in aisle three

Attention online shoppers! Move fast to get these great deals.

Science documentaries? We've got the Eddie Page Story alien abduction video, which tells how Eddie, while operating with an elite assassination team deep inside North Vietnam, is picked up by a UFO containing his real father, who is an alien. Entertainment for the whole family. $14.99

Tired of change rattling around in your pocket, tumbling out on the car seat and so on? What a nuisance. You need the genuine Kangaroo Scrotum Coin Purse. Just like Crocodile Dundee's. $15.95 each, or get a pair for $20.00.

It's always tough to find that special gift for the lady in your life, but Moose Poop Jewellry is here to save the day. Cheap, but good, and guaranteed to please. $8.00 and up.

For those times when it's just too much effort to put the hamburger on the bun, make sure you have Cheeseburger In A Can in the pantry. Imported. € 3.95

Don't you hate it when those flimsy hot dog holders leak mustard and relish on your T-shirt at the ball park? The Porcelain Hotdog Wrapper solves that problem once and for all. Dishwasher safe, too. $30.00

So the old neighbourhood has gone downhill a bit since this recession started, what with the grow ops and crack houses moving in behind the repo and foreclosure guys? Feeling a little trepidated about walking over to the local coffee shop? You need the JL421 Badonkadonk around-town tank. $19,999.95

And don't miss the specials in our lingerie department.

Will that be credit or debit?

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